Brushing off the football cobwebs

When the high school fall sports season ends, Friday nights become sort of like an old house.

Cobwebs pop up everywhere. Everything is dipped into an eery silence.

Then there is the triumphant return of high school football. That’s the time of the year we’re in now. High school football is back so we need to dust off those cobwebs and escape the shell of what’s known as summer Friday nights.

Polk County and Landrum are officially off the shelf this weekend with a jamboree in Woodruff and the big daddy Border Showcase Classic II on Saturday nights.
There are a few things we’re going to have to readjust ourselves to with the oncoming season.

First, all of you fans out there that don’t get to walk the sidelines like I do have to reintroduce your backside to the oh so comfortable bleacher.

That’s right. You might want to pet your bleacher creature a couple of times before you sit down, asking it to be nice to your back and rump this season. While it may ignore your pleadings, you may have to just bring a seat cushion or a blanket.
There’s always those donut things the doctor will give you also.

The next thing is the heat. Since we start football so early in the year, there’s the sting of sweat and heat on your skin. I might suggest some really strong deodarant so that the person next to you isn’t miserable. You can only hope that the person next to you is reading this column also.

The next thing is the trashtalking. You have to have your war chants ready early. Look at the schedule and know exactly what you can use to talk trash to the opposing fans. They may be a long ways across the field,but if enough people jump in, they’ll hear you.

In my case, I have to figure out what I’m going to wear to a football game, especially that game on September 8 between Landrum and Polk County.

Last year, for some odd reason I wore a baby blue shirt. The Landrum coaches immediately called me out on it. I was informed that any shade of blue would be a sign of support for Polk County. I was informed that any shade of red, including burgundy, would be a sign of support for Landrum.

This year I was thinking about wearing green. How will that be, coaches? Or maybe I will wear white. You both have some white on your uniforms.

The final and most important tool you need to make your Friday nights complete in the upcoming football season is a toothpick.Why a toothpick, you ask?

Well...who can resist that smell of popcorn through the thick, southern, hot air?
There’s been a few times where I wanted to run up and grab me a bag in the middle of a game.

That’s why it’s important to have you a toothpick handy. Those kernels are a pain.
You can get them with your nails because you’ve bitten them off from the nervousness of the game and your tongue is not a proper substitute.All I can say is, bring a toothpick.

I hope you heed my advice and I’ll see you all on Saturday night at 7 p.m. where we’ll get to watch eight great teams battle it out at the Border Showcase Classic.
Until then, fughettaboutit!