My name’s Joey… and I’m a football addict

Picture this.

I’m sitting in a circle of men with a Miami Dolphins jersey on. To my left, a guy’s wearing his Carolina Panthers jersey. To my right, a guy’s wearing his Atlanta Falcons jersey.

There are sniffles everywhere. I’m not sure that I can speak. Then it’s my turn and I’m forced to speak.

I stand, look nervously at the crowd, and begin to speak.

“Hi. My name’s Joey Millwood and I’m a football addict.”

The crowd responds in unison.

“The Miami Dolphins stink!”

Before long, the circle of men are arguing back and forth debating whether or not Joe Montana or Dan Marino is the greatest quarterback to ever live.

You’ve got some 90-year-old guy arguing for Bart Starr and some teenager screaming Tom Brady’s name.

Finally, order is restored and each fighter is sent back to their respective corners.

Just in case you were wondering, the calendar is not wrong. You don’t have to look twice.

It is June.

So you’re probably wondering why the Teflon Sports Don is back writing columns about football. The truth of the matter is that the break between football seasons is getting shorter and shorter.

ESPN is consistently talking football and it’s just enough to keep all of us football fanatics from going insane.

On the other hand, I’ve got this hunger burning in my stomach and nothing can satisfy that feeling except for a good dose of pigskin.

The only thing that can satify that hunger is to see some live action. I need to see Miami on the field. I need to see Clemson on the field.

That’s the only way to cure my hunger. I don’t think a helping of my grandma’s biscuits or corn bread can feel the gap in the pit of my stomach.

I’m already counting down the days. First, football will return to Friday night. Polk County and Landrum will embark on another season of gridiron war. John Cann and Bruce Ollis will again be marching the sidelines, shouting plays, and grilling referees.

My first dose of football, like most of you, will come on August 11 at 6 p.m. when the Border Showcase will take place in Shelby, N.C.

Come Saturday, that will only be seven weeks away.

Another way that I’m feeding that football hunger is through fantasy football.
Believe or not, I’ve already been drafting teams. I’m up to ten already. I’ve set up my coaches league again. If you’re a coach out there, come see if you can handle the Teflon Sports Don.

For all of you out there that aren’t coaches. I’m setting up an open Tryon Daily Bulletin football league. If you think you can beat the Teflon Sports Don, bring it on. But, be warned. Take on the Don and you might sleep with the fishes - the PhantasyPhins fishes that is.

If you want to join, log onto yahoo.com. Go to free fantasy football and click on join custom league. You’ll need the “league Id No.” and the password.

The “league ID No.” 61360. The password is “millwood.” That’s all you need to get into the league. The winner will receive a free six months subscription to the Bulletin.

That is...of course...unless the Don takes home the prize. If I win, what you’ll earn is a year of smack talk and my unruly bragging rights.

You think a rivalry like Landrum and Polk County is heated? Wait until you seen the PhantasyPhins in action in some fantasy football. It’s my mission to search and destroy.

Last season, in my coaches league, I made the mistake of setting up the draft as automatic.

I won’t make that mistake again. We’re all going to pick our teams with a live draft online. Don’t worry...if you can’t draft online at home, you can set up your rankings to draft who you want.

But if you really want to be sure...make sure you can get to a computer and do an online draft. Believe me...It’s fun. We can talk smack and draft the players we want.
It’s the way I’m going to do my coaches league this season.

All I’m saying is that it’s time to scratch that football itch and this is a way to do it.

Only the first eight teams that are created will be allowed in the league. If the response is overwhelming, then I’ll create another league or however many that need to be created. If you try to log and and you can’t get on, email me at jmillwood@tryondailybulletin.com.

I’ll starting setting up secondary leagues depending on participation.

If you’re like me and you’re starving for some footabll, this is a good way to get out there and keep yourself busy until the first kickoff of the season.

Let’s try to avoid football anonymous together. Or maybe we can do football anonymous together so that we’ll have a venue to talk football.

Who nees football anonymous anyways?

I’m happily addicted.